Curate a Positive Mind like a Lovely Perfume
Building positive beliefs is like curating a quality perfume. There are base notes, mid notes, and top notes and depending on how you layer it you can receive different aromas. I like to apply this same analogy to maintaining a positive belief set. Contrary to popular belief I don’t think affirmations alone can make way for long lasting results. And by results I mean having the positive belief set to help you achieve your life goals.
As someone who had an affirmation book that I’d use every morning (and don’t get me wrong affirmations have a way of turning around your day) I found that my biggest mindset transformations happened when I assessed my negative beliefs FIRST. Let’s see this in an example.
I had this looming fear hanging over my head that it wasn’t safe for me to have luxury in my life. It was so different from my reality and after seeing others around me be criticized for having nice things, I just didn’t want to be next on the list. Not to mention trolling is at an all time high on social media and in a perfect world we’d never be bothered by them but, that’s just not reality.
So how’d I get over this negative belief + how does this apply to our perfume analogy?
To make a long story short (well as short as an ADHD girlie can anyway), I started to search for articles that would help me get comfortable with the idea of luxury becoming my norm. To be honest, the articles and Pinterest affirmations helped a bit with envisioning but, not with transitioning into the woman that had this life. So here’s what actually helped me.
I joined a program called the Money Edit and it was a support program put together by one of my followers. She desired to help women like me get comfortable with living what she called an “opulent life.” During this group program I realized that was holding me back wasn’t that I didn’t believe I could have what I desired. What held me back was simply that my doubts felt greater than my desires and as long as those doubts were unaddressed and taking up space in my mind I would never able to achieve the new life I was imagining for myself.
Before I share how things ultimately turned out, I want to share a bit more about the LARGER lesson I learned. Sometimes the best way to reach your desires is to assess your doubts FIRST. Then once you uncover the doubts that are conflicting with your desires, it will leave space in your mind for affirmations to actually settle in. All in all, just like the curation of a perfume you can mix jasmine, amber and vanilla together but depending on the way you mix them and which notes you start with first you can end up with several different fragrances. It’s the same formula for life, sure you can add affirmations into your routine and have them sit on top of your doubts and try to create things in life from that concoction, OR you can release your mental weights FIRST and then add in affirmations and watch how quickly your desires unfold.
If the latter sounds ideal, then stick around. I’m sharing how you can reach your life goals in a timeless and fulfilling way.
The Base Note: Uncover your Limits + Release Them
It’s not just our thoughts that hold us back from our desires, it’s when those thoughts are perceived as truth, that they become what we call “limiting beliefs.” {Want to know all about limiting beliefs I share it ALL here in this complimentary guide}. But to save a bit of time, limiting beliefs are just as they sound. They are self imposed beliefs that can end up limiting the positive possibilities in your life + these have got to go, or at least be addressed.
To use our earlier example: I realized that my fear of receiving abundance and having the identity of a luxurious woman stemmed from:
Not feeling worthy enough to make more $ than those around me and to have access to experiences they may not have (or the exact experiences they talk about).
Childhood wounds where friends and women closest to me would be angry when I received good things in life (some would even cry or lie). I’d feel like I had to choose between what would keep them happy or what I wanted in life. And out of survival I definitely didn’t choose myself).
To start releasing my limiting beliefs, I had to access my earliest memories of feeling uncomfortable to receive good things and this step was probably the most freeing and eye-opening step in my process because now I had the clarity to see exactly what was holding me back (the fear of losing people I loved).
The Middle Note: Authentic Affirmations that Last
Now was the time to apply affirmations, because I knew where the root of my unbelief stemmed from and what beliefs needed to be added into my life to heal. I realized that my ultimate limiting belief was rooted in the inevitable judgement and projection of others. Let’s face it, we've probably all been at the mercy of someone’s projections and yes it doesn’t feel good but we also don’t have to believe in them just because someone else feels that they’re true.
So I did a little journaling and came to the conclusion that I’m not defined by the criticism of others or the experiences of my past. Next I journaled “what do you want to believe about yourself and a life of luxury?” I decided that:
It’s safe for me to want better for my life
I deserve abundance and experiences that make me happy
Women who were proud of their luxuries inspired me to go for it too + maybe one day my decision to embrace luxury will help other women embrace their desires for it too.
The takeaway here is that once you realize where your limits are, then natural and authentic affirmations will form and it won’t come from a random affirming quote you found on Pinterest (although they definitely have their place). Now, this leads us to the last tier of your positivity perfume (or should we call it PONDR perfume *wink wink*).
The Top Note: Embodiment
This is the step where you get comfortable with integrating your new set of beliefs and allowing them to become your new norm. This step is how you ultimately start living out and attaining your life goals.
It took me approximately 7 days (1 week) to go from fearing a life of luxury and abundance to living out an entirely different reality where I was experiencing luxury in ways I never had before. I was able to enjoy a private romantic boat ride in the heart of Miami with champagne toasts + incredible views. I ended up on a spontaneous trip to cafe DIOR where I didn’t feel out of place and was complimented quite a few times for my personality + “elevated vibe.” I had a rooftop brunch overlooking a gorgeous harbor and had drinks over a towering high rise. And to add to the fun, I was given my favorite Starbucks drinks for days on end as an unexpected gift. But the bonus moment for me was being proposed to by my lovely fiance.
A bit of backstory, this trip was designed to be a birthday trip for my boyfriend so most of these experiences were not planned. I know that most of the experiences 100% came from embracing the feeling of being worthy of good things and releasing every part of me that didn’t and all it took was 7 days and an open and positive perspective.
Embodiment is what made all of this an effortless and exciting moment and that’s all what I want for you! To step into your desires with a sense of security and worthiness and have a TIMELESS way to do this no matter your doubts or fears.
You’re Next!
The truth is that your new reality is right at your fingertips, all you need is to follow this timeless process to start stepping into the life you imagine for yourself + remove the realities that no longer align with the life you desire.
You deserve to live a fragrant life full of joyful top notes + confident mid notes, + it all starts with your relationship to life. Want to start generating joyous energy + removing the strain of mental stressors in a fun way? Start with our Fun with Loved Ones guide.
It’s a step in the right direction of becoming a positive participant of life + LIVING while you lead.