The Secret to Having Effortless + Authentic Calm

Disclaimer - The strategies shared here are intended to help you find calm in facing life’s challenges. They are not a replacement for therapy. If you're dealing with significant emotional or mental health concerns, please seek guidance from a licensed therapist or mental health professional.

Serenity Starts Inside

Did you know that the key to effortless calm has been right under your nose this ENTIRE time? That’s right. There is a simple peace principle that will allow you to live lightyears ahead of your peers!

Here’s what those cutesy quotes from your latest 5 minute calm book won’t tell you. That the quickest way to cultivate calm that lasts is by deepening your sense of SELF TRUST.

I’m going to say the quiet part out loud. A lot of people don’t like to admit that life is intimidating. In fact according to the American Psychological Association (APA) more than 76% of adults stress about the unpredictability of life (especially the future). That’s why I’m so adamant about helping women like you become the exception + learn how to become more resilient while relaxing with life.

So here’s one quick tip to help you sharpen your self trust skills so that you can sustain life’s constant curveballs feeling calm + carefree.

The Secret to Inner Security

The biggest way to build self trust in the midst of an unpredictable future is to remember this one thing. That regardless of what challenges come your way, YOU can always decide who you’ll become afterward.

Stay with me now. 

What I’m telling you today is that the secret to developing self trust + a deep inner security is by knowing that through all of your challenges, YOU can decide who to become next.

Why is this important? Because most people wonder if they can ever fully recover from a stressful life event. They may even feel like their circumstances dictate who they become after it’s all said + done. And that’s why they avoid, or tense up, or get anxious about life’s unpredictable nature.

However, the good news is that when life throws challenges your way you can either reinvent yourself or find a way to come back to yourself but either way it will be YOUR choice {not others + not life}. If that sounds too cookie cutter. Let me share a real life example to help put this principle into perspective.

Applying Self Trust when feeling Anxious

When I was in undergrad + fresh out of a horrid breakup, I was constantly worried about running into my ex on campus. I used to avoid going into certain buildings + areas on campus + I’d avoid hanging out in spots where I could possibly see our mutuals.

As I was enduring this unnerving time in my life I started to realize a pattern in my behavior. Nearly EVERY day I was constantly bracing for some sort of unexpected encounter that could potentially cause me more pain. I had convinced myself that if I met any piece of my past, that I wouldn’t be able to recover from it. That I’d never be the same (in all of the worst ways).

It sounds silly now but, as someone who was dealing with chronic anxiety at that time, this had begun to cause a great deal of distress in my life. {Plus, I know I’m not the only woman who has felt this way before}.

So one day I said, “I just don’t want to live this way anymore.” And I decided that if I happened to see this person or our mutuals, that I would simply be the woman who could face them all + still move on with my day. I didn’t want to be the woman who tip toed around campus constantly anticipating what could happen next.

So I would make space for my feelings in the safety of my support system, but I decided that when I stepped on campus I was going to be able to walk into the places that once brought me pain + BE the woman who could face the unexpected yet remain calm.

RELAX .

RELAX .

To make a long story short, I realized that I wasn’t afraid of people or my past at all, I was actually afraid of not being able to handle the weight of the unexpected. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to cope or ever be myself again.

Well in the end, I did run into my ex again but by that time I was already an entirely NEW woman. I had already become the woman who could face a surprise + still be me. I was able to stay secure in myself in the midst of it all + it simply stemmed from deciding to BE. To be caught off guard + to be okay with the shock but to not let it steer me away from my center.

That’s when it clicked. That’s the day I realized that the subtle secret to calm is simply knowing that you can ALWAYS come back to yourself.

Life is the Sea | You are the Captain

All in all, I want you to know that whatever curveballs come your way, you carry the power to come back to yourself. Even if who you decide to become looks different, it’s all about finding your center + having a self regulation process that feels good for you.

Please don’t allow society to paint the image that being resilient is about becoming some kind of ninja warrior who constantly forces their way through life, looking for battles to conquer + is emotionally brutal with themselves all in the name of “bouncing back.” KNOW that there is another way + know that calm is simply the act of getting back to being you.

If you’re ready to start discovering just how resilient you are, the CALM QUEEN workbook is your loyal guide. When you learn that mastering the choppy seas of life isn’t about conquering life itself, but about building the character of a calm captain, you will begin to navigate challenges with both serenity + skill. That’s the life of a true Calm Queen.

~ xo, Until Next Time